Breastfeeding can look completely natural from the outside.
Then your baby arrives, you try it yourself, and suddenly you realize:
“Wait… how exactly am I supposed to do this?”
That experience is completely normal. Breastfeeding is a skill that mother and baby learn together, and it may take time to find what feels comfortable. The NHS specifically describes breastfeeding as something you and your baby learn together.
Here are some simple techniques that can help.
1. Start by Getting Comfortable
Before thinking about your baby's position, make sure you are comfortable too.
Sit or lie somewhere that supports your back, shoulders and arms.
Use pillows if they help.
Try not to lean forward toward the baby for the entire feed — instead, bring your baby toward you.
Your shoulders should feel relaxed rather than tense.
2. Keep Baby's Body in a Straight Line
One of the simplest breastfeeding rules is:
Ear, shoulder and hip should roughly stay in one line.
Your baby shouldn't have to twist their neck to reach the breast.
UNICEF recommends keeping the baby's head and body aligned and holding the baby close to the parent's body.
Think about how uncomfortable it would be to drink while turning your head sideways.
Your baby feels the same way.
3. Start Nose-to-Nipple
Before latching, position your baby so their nose is approximately level with the nipple.
Let the baby's head tilt slightly backward.
When the nipple brushes near the baby's upper lip, they may respond by opening their mouth widely.
Wait for that big open mouth before bringing the baby toward the breast.
Don't try to push the breast into a mostly closed mouth.
4. Bring Baby to the Breast
A useful little rule:
Baby comes to the breast — not breast to baby.
When the baby's mouth opens wide, bring them close so the chin reaches the breast first.
The goal is for the baby to take a good mouthful of breast tissue, rather than sucking only on the nipple.
A deeper latch can make feeding more effective and more comfortable.
5. What Does a Good Latch Look Like?
UNICEF lists several signs parents can look for:
- Baby's mouth is wide open
- Lower lip is turned outward
- Chin touches or nearly touches the breast
- More of the areola may be visible above the baby's mouth than below
- Baby takes slow, deep sucks
- You may hear or see swallowing
Most importantly:
Feeding should not remain very painful.
Some tenderness can occur when breastfeeding is new, but persistent pain, damaged nipples or repeated difficulty attaching are good reasons to ask for breastfeeding support.
6. Try Different Positions
There isn't one position that works for every mother and baby.
Cradle hold
This is the classic breastfeeding position.
Baby lies across your body with their tummy facing yours.
It can work very well once you and your baby become comfortable with feeding.
Rugby or football hold
Baby stays beside your body rather than across your stomach.
This can sometimes be more comfortable after a Caesarean section because the baby isn't lying directly across the incision area.
Side-lying
Mother and baby lie facing each other.
The NHS notes that side-lying can be useful after a difficult delivery or Caesarean section and for nighttime feeds.
Laid-back feeding
You lean backwards comfortably with the baby lying against your body.
Some parents find this position more relaxed and natural.
There's no prize for using a particular position.
The best position is the one where baby feeds effectively and both of you are comfortable.
7. Look for Hunger Cues Before Crying
Crying is often a late hunger signal.
Earlier signs can include:
- Sucking hands or fists
- Licking the lips
- Opening the mouth
- Moving the head as though searching for the breast
- Becoming more restless
Trying to feed during these early signals may be easier because baby is usually calmer.
8. Listen for Swallowing
Once the baby begins feeding, don't focus only on sucking.
You also want to notice swallowing.
Effective feeding may look like:
suck → suck → swallow → pause → suck
UNICEF describes effective suckling as slower, deeper sucks with occasional pauses and visible or audible swallowing.
9. Keep Baby Close
Skin-to-skin contact isn't only for the first minutes after birth.
Keeping your newborn close can help parents notice early feeding cues and can support breastfeeding routines.
The NHS specifically recommends keeping baby close and using skin-to-skin contact to help parents recognize when their baby is ready to feed.
And besides all the practical benefits...
Sometimes it's simply one of the most beautiful places for a newborn to be. 💜
10. Don't Judge Breastfeeding by the Clock
Newborn feeding doesn't always follow a perfect timetable.
Some feeds are long.
Some are surprisingly short.
Sometimes babies want to feed again soon after finishing.
Rather than focusing only on minutes, pay attention to the baby, swallowing, attachment and signs that feeding is going well.
When Should You Ask for Help?
Breastfeeding support can make an enormous difference.
Ask a midwife, doctor, health visitor or qualified lactation professional for help if:
- Feeding remains painful
- Nipples become cracked or damaged
- Baby repeatedly struggles to attach
- You rarely hear or see swallowing
- Baby seems unusually sleepy or difficult to wake for feeds
- You're worried about milk supply
- You're worried about wet nappies or weight gain
The NHS encourages parents who are concerned about milk intake or breastfeeding difficulties to ask for skilled support early.
One Thing Every New Parent Should Remember
There isn't one perfect breastfeeding position.
There isn't one perfect-looking latch for every mother and baby.
And you don't have to understand everything on the first day.
The important thing is that baby is positioned well, feeding effectively, gaining appropriately, and that feeding is comfortable for you.
Sometimes a tiny adjustment — moving baby closer, changing the angle, supporting the body differently — can completely change a feed.
Breastfeeding is something you learn together.
One feed at a time. 💜
Malik's World — Little finds, big smiles.
Parent note: This guide provides general educational information and isn't a substitute for individualized medical or breastfeeding advice. If you're worried about feeding, your baby's hydration, weight gain, or health, contact your baby's healthcare professional.
Sources: UNICEF breastfeeding positioning guidance and NHS breastfeeding positioning, attachment and feeding guidance.